He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
