JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
