real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
