I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ketchup is God's man juice
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
