is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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