I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
