I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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