Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize