How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Even my vagina gasped.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
