Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
