oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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