i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
