so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
