Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
