I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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