Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
