I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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