I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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