yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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