is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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