Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
