Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
