Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
