Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
