how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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