yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
sarcasm needs its own font
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
