Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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