Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize