is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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