Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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