no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize