i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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