Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
