I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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