Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
