id be glad to
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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