my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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