cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
