I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize