And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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