how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
