Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
