You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
