After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Vodka?
Forever.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
