last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
