So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
