they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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