So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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