She's JV to your varsity
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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