You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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