I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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