in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
