I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
