There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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