All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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