ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
