You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
