the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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