i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
