Whod you bang
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
